The Forgotten
by do i need a pen name
Summary: Caspian reflects on Susan before and after the events of The Final Battle. ONE-SHOT!


**The Forgotten**

His life had been long, and full of adventures, hardships, joys, and triumphs. At the time of his death, he had been king of a united and peaceful kingdom, where animals and humans alike lived in harmony. His wife had died a few years before him, and for a time his only son had gone missing, but everything had worked out in the end. An old friend had found his son, and he had seen his wife again, with time. At the time of his death he had had no regrets.

Save one.

Her name was Susan Pevensie, and she had been a queen of Narnia more than one thousand years before Caspian was ever born.

Caspian had first met Queen Susan when they were both quite young; it had been his first time as a young man and her second as a young woman. He had been forced to flee from his uncle's castle when he found out that his uncle was planning to kill him. She had arrived in Narnia in answer to the summons he had sent by blowing upon her old hunting horn.

The first time Caspian laid eyes upon Susan, he had known his life would never be the same again. And it wasn't.

With the help of Susan and her three siblings, all former kings and queens of Old Narnia, Caspian was able to defeat his treacherous uncle and take his rightful place as Narnia's true king. But in doing so, Caspian had to pay a great price. Having completed the task they had been summoned for, the time came for Susan, whom Caspian felt himself falling in love with, along with her three siblings to leave Narnia.

It would be the last time Caspian would ever see Susan in his lifetime.

The years passed and Caspian did eventually marry. His wife was a woman he loved very deeply and would do anything for. But he never forgot Susan. She stayed in the back of his mind, an important person in his life, long gone but never forgotten. And from time to time he would take the memories of her from his youth out and think about her, wonder what had happened in her life since leaving Narnia. But never more than that, for Caspian was devoted to his family and knew it did no good to dwell on the past, which could never be changed.

So instead Caspian lived for the future. And the future was good to Caspian. Once more he met Susan's two younger siblings, King Edmund and Queen Lucy. And he also became well acquainted with her younger cousin, Eustace. Indeed, it was in the time before and directly after his death that Caspian saw Eustace for the second, but presumably not final time.

And so with his death, Caspian moved on to a better place. Like his father and so many others before them, his final resting-place became Aslan's country. It was a place that, in part, bore a strong resemblance to the country he had called home his entire life, but at the same time it was so much more. And there he had finally been reunited with both of his parents and his wife. In time—which meant so little in Aslan's country—his son eventually joined them, as well.

And there Caspian stayed. For, even though it would be quite impossible to achieve, why would he want to go anywhere else?

There _was_ one place, though. But as he had tried to think about it as un-often as possible in life, in death he thought about it so much less. And that place he wanted to be, albeit rare that he actually thought of it, was at Susan's side, in the world she had been born into, living a life with her day-to-day. But of course that was every sort of impossible imaginable.

Caspian and Susan had chosen different paths in life, and Caspian could find—and indeed did not believe it was possible to find—any fault in the path he had chosen. For as much as he had once dreamed of a life with Susan, he loved his wife and his son with all of his heart and would never choose to give them up for anything.

And so more time passed un-marked. The years, the decades, the centuries passed, and Caspian was happy with the life he lived.

But one day, Aslan came to them—all that resided in the incarnation of Narnia that was in Aslan's country. He told them of how time had come to an end in Narnia, and how the very last King of Narnia would shortly join them. And he told them of another world, the one from which Susan and her siblings came from. He told them that in that world, there had been a terrible accident, and how it had killed seven friends of Narnia. He told them to be ready to greet these eight people who would soon be arriving in Aslan's country.

And so Caspian waited. He stood, a young man once more, with his wife and son on either side of him and waited for these eight new arrivals. And as he stood, he quelled the hope that rose in his chest that he would finally see Susan again. For who else but she could be one of the seven joining them from another world?

Caspian dared not hope, because he did not want to face the pain that would most definitely result from the disappointment of it not being Susan who came. Yes, Caspian was fully devoted to his family, there was no doubt about that. But there was still a part of himself, a part he had not lived for so many years, which still loved Susan although they had been apart for so long; a small part of him would always love her.

So when the group of people and animals alike finally arrived in the castle that was his home, he at first thought he merely could not see her. For hadn't he already established that it would be impossible for Susan _not_ to be someone in her world who would come to Aslan's Country after her death? And weren't those her three siblings there, three of the new arrivals in Aslan's country? Yes, and that was her cousin Eustace, as well, still the same as Caspian remembered him, but different, too. And that was Jill, Eustace's friend, standing beside the boy. There were two others as well; but they were not Susan either.

There was no doubt about it now. Susan was not here. She had not come with her family to this most wonderful of all places.

Caspian was disappointed, and while he knew why, he could not help but question the feeling. He should be glad that Susan was not here. For if Susan was here, that would mean that in her own world, she would be dead. And Caspian would never want Susan to be dead.

It wasn't until a bit later that Peter, High King of Narnia in his own day, came to speak with Caspian.

"She's forgotten it all, Caspian," he said by way of explanation. "Susan's got it in her head that Narnia was just a game we played when we were children; a way of escaping the war for us. She refuses to hear any opposing argument on the subject. In fact, she refuses to hear any talk of Narnia at all. Queen Susan doesn't believe that anything about Narnia was ever real."

And then Peter left Caspian to his own thoughts.

Susan had forgotten Narnia; had forgotten him. He knew it was in no way his fault that Susan had totally turned her back on the truth about who she had once been, but a small, hidden away part of Caspian still blamed himself for it. He obviously hadn't had enough of an effect upon her life that would make her remember him, as he had remembered her all these years.

It wasn't something Caspian wanted to dwell upon. He knew that, at the time of his death, nothing more than a few days had passed, possibly even a week or two, in the Pevensie's world. Susan may have missed him some in that time, but she had gone through a lesser amount of time without him than Caspian had. And with this sudden appearance of Peter, Edmund, and Lucy, all looking just a few years older than the only time he had seen all of them together, it led Caspian to question just how much time really had passed in their world in comparison to Narnia.

But no matter what, Caspian knew that the years could change a person, no matter how few of them passed. And it was obvious from what Peter had told him that Susan _had_ changed. The only problem was that Caspian did not think he liked the change that had taken place.

Susan had been a true Queen of Narnia. She had come to aid Narnians in their darkest hour since the dawn of Narnia's Golden Age; the time in which she had ruled Narnia alongside her brothers and sister. And all four of the former kings and queens had proven themselves victorious over the Telmarines. If it hadn't been for Queen Susan's horn, Caspian might not have been standing where he was; alive and well, in a sense, with the rest of eternity spread out before him. Yes, it was all thanks to Susan that a peaceful Narnia had been able to prevail and last through to its end, just a day ago.

And Susan no longer believed in any of it. To her, it was just a childhood game; played to distract four children from the war-torn world they were living in. In her mind, Narnia had died years ago, when she had left it for the last time, rather than just the day before.

A single tear glistened in Caspian's eye before rolling down his cheek, which was unmarked by any sign of age, now. As he leaned against the open window he was gazing out of, he suddenly felt old again, for the first time since his death.

In the black night, the only thing he could see were the stars, shining so much brighter than they did in the Narnia he had been born into. His wife was the star's daughter…and his wife was here with him now. Not like Susan.

Susan was not here, and from the looks of things, she would never be here.

With a frustrated sigh, Caspian flicked the single tear from his cheek onto the stone ledge before him. For years, he had convinced himself that it did no good to dwell on the past, so why change that now? Firm in his resolve, Caspian stood up straight, took one last look at the night sky, turned on his heel and walked away to find his wife.

And on the window ledge there glistened one sparkling tear, the last tear to be shed in remembrance of Queen Susan, the Gentle.


End file.
